Sunday, December 4, 2016

The Sky without Stars - first chapter

It was the first time I have failed. The first time my hand was dithering.  Am I got too old or the words of Suresh had left this incapability on me? I put my hand on my sideburns, are they whitening? But my bare chest seem as rigid as it was 20 years ago when I had started all this, my biceps were swelling up from my hand, it had enough strength to knock down someone in one punch, Perfect for a professional killer. But the only thing bothering me, how did Suresh know about all this? I was raising Suresh from the day of his birth. His mother died giving birth to that child. I had given everything he needed . And somehow he came to know the fact that his father earns the money for his comfort by killing people, he started hating me for this. But I killed the people who had no right to live. They were those bloody gold-diggers who tortured others to earn their money, but sometimes I had to kill some innocents, after all I was working for a drug dealer. I had never ever disappointed Blackie. I didn’t know what he will say to me for my failure. I couldn't done anything about this now. I stopped thinking about all this and tried to get some rest.

Suresh had gone to his friend's place; it’s quite late now I should call him. As soon as I got up from my chair to the telephone, the bell rings. I opened the door; he looked at me with an intense disgust.

“What happened? Why are you so late?” I asked. He didn’t bother to answer my question. I didn’t want to continue the topic. I called him for the dinner.

He was eating silently; even he was not looking at me. Suddenly he got up and screamed to me in a very hillbilly way," Have you again killed someone to feed me?”

“No son, why are you getting angry? I can explain you. Please listen to me..."

 "I don’t want to listen to the words of a murderer. Do you have any humanity left? You are not allowable to live in this society. You are a criminal, a killer, a murderer. I will not eat this food which is earned by killing someone." He knocked down the spoon on the table and rushed to his room. I heard the door of his room banged. I couldn’t help myself to get rid of this situation. I had never imagined that I had to face this situation. I knew I am doing a sin. I was working for a drug dealer. I killed other drug dealers and associates according to his orders. But what else could I do? I had lost my job when Suresh was only 1 years old in the name of supplying company secrets, which I hadn’t committed. I was intentionally framed by my colleagues. I can’t apply for any job furthermore for that ignominy. It was like a stigme on my career.

Suddenly the door bell rang, I opened the door. It is Limón, right hand of Balckie. I was counting my end time.
"Yes, come in, Limón. What's up? Why are you here?" my voice shivered while asking.

"Don’t you know the reason; don’t try to pretend over smart. What have you done today? You have put all of us in great danger", Limón pointed his sharp eyes at me, he was murdering me in his looks, "why have you taken the job if you can't fulfill. Blackie is very disgruntled for what you have done. Don’t dare to repeat this again. If you repeat this mistake, we have to appoint another person to kill your son." He poked his finger to my chest. He had left my house with a cold threatening. I turned back, I was broken down completely. I saw Suresh was looking at me with more execrated look. He left the place silently without a single word and go to his room. I was standing like a numb in the corridor.

I went to my room after cleaning the dining table. Sat on the chair and put the lights off. I looked out from the window. The sky was fully black, trapped with flabby pallid clouds; even the stars didn’t have the permission to exhume their light. My life looked like this that sky without stars. I had raised Suresh with all my effort and care. I never made him understand the absence of his mother. I had protected him throughout my life. But now he abhorred his own father, who had raised him all the way long from childhood. He didn’t give me the chance to explain. I had to put a stop to all this to get my son back. I decided to go to Balckie next day.

This was a very tough decision for me to make but there wasn’t any other way to get back my son. He wasn’t telling a lie, I had lost my basic human instincts. I was just killing people brutally just for money. Was it a way to live? I was so accustomed to bloodshed that I felt something missing if I didn’t see blood for a long time. There was a ghoul in my head which had kept me doing this, so I had to move out of this. Within this time I had arrived Balckie's place. They knew me very well they didn’t show any reaction. I knew where would he be this time, I had the permission to go anywhere in this house. I got Balckie in his study room with Limón and Murphy.

"Balckie, can we have a moment?” I asked, my voice sounded a little dithering.

"Yes, what is the matter? I know you never fail your target. But every man have the right to make mistake, you have also done. But you know, i believe you. You are my old friend. I am giving you another chance. You will be given an address of a DEA agent. That lizard is creating much problem in our business." Blackie got up from the chair, came close to me and say," and this time don’t dare to make me upset."

 I had failed, I had failed to say Balckie what for I had gone there. I came with another of killing. Another order for killing. I would be murder of another one person. And this time a cop. I just couldn’t think much about this. I needed some rest. This would be my last job. I would leave this country forever after this. This was the last sin which I have to commit . I came to my house, went to my room. Take three Ambien tablets and reclined in my bed with feculent eyes. 

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